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Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I have been conceited. I told myself I will be true to everyone. Even this blog, I will write only the truth, I won't cover up myself just to be 'correct' and 'holy'. I was so occupied with the truth that I forgot...some people will not be able to handle the truth and are not ready to hear the truth. So what if it is the truth? Perception errors can occur, maybe that's why the Christianity is divided into so many branches.
Suddenly, I feel betrayed. But yet, that goes to show that I am still childish and stupid for feeling this way.
I thought I'd feel ashamed but strangely, I feel humbled. Maybe it's just that I'm numbed and the reality of it hasn't hit home yet. Or that I'm not allowing it to hit home?
I'm relieved the words came from another's mouth. Had it come from my own, I wouldn't have forgiven myself for giving up so easily what God has entrusted me. But perhaps this has caused my downfall instead, this prideful attitude, a sad excuse to justify my own actions and behaviour.
Will I stumble anyone with this post? I've never thought about it until now. I'm sorry if I have. I only hope you'll forgive me for my sudden disappearance, with no reason to give on my part. Even I have, it won't be something I'll share with others. Let it just be between myself and whatever deity is up there...and perhaps a select few who knew before.
Maybe one day...with grace, I might find my way back to the right path again.